The Movies and Songs That Raised Us
Explore the delicate balance between fierce independence and fairy-tale longing. Through the lens of The Cheetah Girls, Cinderella, and Pretty Woman.
Larion Weary
6/2/20264 min read
When I was a kid, I would never fall asleep with the rest of the house. I’d be up until the wee hours of the morning watching Disney Channel movies. Sometimes I’d sneak out and walk to my Momo’s apartment, and she’d let me in. Some nights I’d crawl into bed and fall right asleep next to her. Other nights I’d sit in front of the TV while her loud snoring became white noise and I got lost in a VHS tape.
Now that I am older, I often reflect on the things that made me into the woman I am today. I loved watching The Cheetah Girls, and one of the songs that plays in the background of the confident, independent woman I am today is: “I don’t wanna be like Cinderella / Sitting in a dark, cold, dusty cellar / Waiting for somebody / To come and set me free… I’d rather rescue myself.” That song informed so much of who I am, alongside seeing my mother in failed relationships or with men who couldn’t properly provide. I had big dreams when I was a little girl, not too far from the dreams I have now. I always knew that I’d have to work my ass off to get where I wanted to be. I refused, and still do to this day, to wait on a man to rescue me.
Now, here’s the juxtaposition. I also grew up watching Pretty Woman, Brandy’s Cinderella, and Ever After. I had a rather traumatic childhood while also being neurodivergent. My mind became my place of escape, and I’d dream of a life where things were better—and it often included a knight coming to save me and take me away. Perhaps I needed that as a child; it kept me hopeful.
As an adult who is single and working on reaching her goals, I find that I am always balancing those parts of me: the part that wants to be swept away by a handsome prince, and the other part that’s working hard to rescue myself from a life of untapped potential and failed dreams.
The truth is, where I am trying to go and who I want to be is ultimately up to me. It's on me to put in the work to get there. The kind of money I wish to have, I’d rather earn it by my own sweat and tears. I am not meek; in fact, I detest the thought of being seen in that way. I’ve worked hard to own my voice and reject anything and anyone that tries to silence it or make it small.
Then, I think of Brandy’s Cinderella and how she felt in her corner. I identified with that loneliness even as a child. I felt unheard and unseen. Typically, when you get to that point, you hope that someone out there in the world will look at you and see you. Who is the person that will take me away from this place or release me from the feeling of doing it on my own? The beauty in Brandy’s Cinderella is when her Fairy Godmother, Whitney Houston, told her that if she wanted to get away from her stepfamily, she would have to do it on her own. Because the truth is, Cinderella had the power to leave and make a better life for herself—she was just afraid of leaving what she’d always known.
Julia Roberts played such a charming character in Pretty Woman, and Richard Gere’s character was so fascinated and taken with her. Similar to Cinderella, she was preparing to leave for San Francisco to make a better life for herself, and then Richard appeared on a white horse to take her away as she had dreamt as a child.
So, I think to myself about what it’s like to be a strong, independent Black woman. It is hard and exhausting. Especially because people often misunderstand me—which is a blog for another day and probably a few therapy sessions, lol. There was this one time when I met a guy who was tall, dark, and handsome—and I actually mean dark as in skin tone, I’m not interested in the mysterious type. He surprised me; I saw pieces of myself in him, and I thought he would see me. I thought he liked me, and for once in my life, something happened that I didn’t have to work hard for. It just fell into my lap when I wasn’t looking for it. I asked myself, “Could this really be happening for me?”
The answer, ladies and gentlemen… drum roll please… NO. I was crushed because the little girl inside of me had begun to wonder if she could have more than me to protect her. I hadn't realized up to that point how fragile the relationship was between my younger and older self.
I find that I am content with having to “rescue” myself. I just wish that I had a partner in crime to help me slay the dragons. So, no, I’m not waiting around and wishing on stars for someone to give me the life I desire. I dream of the day I get to see the fruits of my labor, and hopefully, I’ll have someone alongside me enjoying their fruits as well.
What movies or songs have influenced the person you are today? Which ones changed the way you thought about things?